Wonderings and Wanderings

Oh, this is way too long!
I was thinking about karma this morning, as I often do, man. Yesiree. See, my recent thinking has been as follows. In the past I usedta think of karma as something where everything gets all nice and neat and clean and evened out. If you fuck up someone's shit in this life, they fuck up your shit in the next life, and thus everything is all evened out, and all the karma is washed away. But, then I realized, in recent months, that nothing's washed away. I fuck up your shit in this life, and that creates bad karma, so you fuck up my shit in the next life. But when you fuck up my shit, rather than washing away the bad karma I created in the last life, it just creates new bad karma for you. That's what I think. So, now we both have bad karma, and it just bounces back and forth, and we keep on fucking up each other's shit in our future lifetimes, over and over and over and over, and the karma just builds up. It becomes like deep ruts in a muddy road that gets all hard and entrenched, and the like. I was thinking, wow, that's rather messy. Then I realized, well, yes. We live in a messy world, and a messy universe, to boot. A friend reminded me last night of what the chaos theorists say: the universe is going toward more and more entropy. It's gettin' more and more turbulent and messy and messed up. So, I realize, yeah, it makes a lot of sense. We all have this build-up of negative energy followin' us around, and it's gettin' worse and worse and creatin' all this entropic messiness. What I'm wonderin' is how all those Buddhas and Jesus-type figures were able to clean their karma away. Or maybe Jesus wasn't able to, cuz he got nailed to a cross, after all. It seems like the only way to get rid of this shit is to consciously recognize that it's there, and release it somehow. I mean, I learned a way of doing that, and it seems to work. But there are so many countless bad-karma-tendrils, that I'm struggling with how to get a fix on all of them. Maybe I cain't.

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